Bittersweet

I purchased a 2009 Mustang on August 16, 2009, a few days later I was informed at work that there was a possibility that I would be receiving a pay cut. A deep pain sank in my stomach. Could I really afford monthly car payments on a salary reduction? Insurance? Rent? Food? If I were to get a second job how would that effect the relationships with my friends and family?

Torn between a former life and my new commitment, I quickly went into survival mode, searching for a part time job that would help me make some extra cash to supplement the loss of pay I was to endure. Within a few weeks, I was hired by Gulfstream restaurant as a service bartender. After my first shift, I had an overwhelming sense of uncertainty of whether I could do this job as efficiently as they needed; after all, I was completely out of my element. So weekend after weekend, I continued to struggle barely staying afloat, I started to fear that maybe they would take notice that I was severely unqualified for this position.


As one month past, I began to hit my stride and making drinks started to become easier. The frequent questions regarding drink recipes were diminishing, as they had been inculcated into my weekend mental dictionary. Additionally, I noticed that with each weekend that I worked, the more I looked forward to clocking in. Partially intrigued by the constant influx of people but mostly by my co-worker’s intelligent, artistic, creative and wide eyed curiosity for the world’s many offerings, it seemed that I had found a niche.


Months past and I was informed by my HR department at UCLA’s School of Nursing that I wouldn’t be receiving a pay cut. Although tempted to leave the restaurant, I decided to continue my moonlighting as a bartender. With an increase in hours and many projects taking shape, my body started to feel the physical burden that too much of a good thing is not all that great.


A few weeks ago when I put my leave of absence at the restaurant, I thought it was the best thing that I could have done but after this past weekend, I realized how much I’ll miss the atmosphere at Gulfstream and although I’ll be returning, I know from experience that when you leave something behind the dynamic never stays the same. With one more weekend before my break, I'm left with a bittersweet taste in my mouth.