More than you can chew

I like to think that I have a fair grasp of what I can and can't handle. I've always been able to pile on different projects on my shoulders and regardless of how daunting the mountain on my back may seem, with the right amount of pacing, I'm able to do it, I know that about myself. Perhaps in another life I was a juggler, handling the most dangerous objects, tossing them into the air and watching as they'd fall benignly into my hand and then go back up again. The transitions so smooth and seamless, as if innate.

September came around and I thought that after a little break from one of my jobs, I would be able to make a smooth transition back into a former routine with both jobs but I underestimated the place I am in my life and the ever changing circumstances that surface when you least expect. So this month as I continued to throw more objects in the air, I neglected some of my other commitments that were falling victim to gravity with no hand to propel them back up, and as a result, objects disregarded hit the floor. The distractions of the crashing objects subsequently effected the once controlled motion. I bit off more than I can chew and compromised various aspects of my life because I wanted to satisfy everyone.

I understand that I have a constant desire to be active but it's not worth doing all of it if you can't do everything at an optimal level. Maybe it's time to have fewer obligations on my schedule so that I can accomplish everything on it, rather than having 100 things on it and never getting anything done.

So there's a point where I opened my eyes, I just hoped I didn't burn any bridges along the way.

They Say

Here's a song that I wrote back in 2008 when I graduated from UCLA. It's an anthem to people who have ever been told they're not good enough to do what they love. So follow your dreams even if you have to walk that road alone.

Fall is Upon Us

We get worked up on the idea that we are on the eve of change, we become consumed with reproducing images of where we want to be, only to realize that a few months down the road we are standing in the same place where we have been all along. It’s one thing to fantasize about change and another to actively court and allow these ideas to materialize into something beyond an unanchored thought.

Time and again, we use the excuse that the timing wasn’t right but when is it ever? We need to stop thinking of how romantic the idea of change could be and act on our desires and passions; youth is fleeting and so will the opportunity to do the things on our to do list. So once we realize that time is finite, we must decide to either continue spending it daydreaming and thinking about the possibilities of the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve or we can mentally grow up and start taking the rudimentary steps necessary for those daydreams to become the reality that we wake up to.

Perhaps you have an idea of where you would like to see yourself but are to scared to say it out loud for fear of others judgment. To ease those fears, I’ll let you in on a little a secret that I’ve learned from a wise doctor known to many as Seuss, “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” People who love you will support you; no questions asked.

Thus, the plan is to ask yourself the hard questions: where do you need to go? What must be done to get there? And how soon do you need to get there? So if there is something you know you should be doing or something you know you would be great at, what’s the hold up? You don’t need to wait for a new years day, you have a new September right as you read this. No need to ask for permission because you’ll be waiting for approval all your life.

So building off of my last post, “The wreckage” and what you are currently reading, the two things I want to change or really work towards are: 1) Financial Freedom and 2) My career.

The hardest part is taking that leap, if you can't see where your headed that's ok. With that said, who wants to join me in changing our lives? And what is it that you want to change and work towards? Fall is upon us, no better time for change then today.

The Wreckage

 Sometimes it’s easiest to focus on life’s inconsistencies. Dwelling in our own missteps mentally grants us the excuse to justify our absence from the things we want most. If you think about it, we use every reason not to jump at opportunities because we’re scared of more failure. We let fear take the wheel as we sit in the passenger seat of our own life without the slightest nerve of being a backseat driver. Our eyes simply stare out the window absent of fire that once burned furiously with ambition and formally directed the car.

These pity parties that we entertain, only inflate our desire to stay complacent in our exaggerated misery. By and large, negativity and hopelessness has never helped anyone towards that one moment that you are waiting for. No one will give you anything in this life, much less if you’re sitting around sulking in your own pessimism.

I’m guilty of throwing myself the aforementioned pity parties; it certainly comes from habit to measure whose life is more “wretched.” I’m only now realizing how selfish it is to lay among the things that I call my wreckage. This so called wreckage consist of things of luxury that some people would never dream of; to have opportunity to call such things my problems should really be counted as blessings. In order to be in a mentally healthy state, we must cease from focusing on the difficult situations that emerge and think about the opportunities that may develop as we get past them. There’s no room for negativity if happiness is what you want. It’s time to pick yourself up f and select the first piece from our “wreckage” and decide in which direction to start cleaning up the rumble. It just takes that initial action to set in motion those that will subsequently follow.

The spark

It’s been a short summer; they seem to get shorter with time coupled with increasing responsibilities. It makes sense, less idle time and more time to “act” like a model citizen-- whatever that’s supposed to mean, right?

I guess I’ve had my moments of being rebellious or imaginative however you’d like to put it, but for the most part I’ve always followed the rules and displayed more than my share of being responsible since a young age, so I have to wonder, where exactly does that leave me?

The summation of what I’ve accomplished leaves me unsatisfied; essentially, there’s a vacancy behind a cage of bones where a machine supposed beat and I can’t put my finger on it but I want more than just a college degree and a nine to five job. More or less, life just seems more mundane when you’re working to pay bills, especially when those bills have little to do with the betterment of you as a person. I refuse to accept that at some point in our life, we lose that zeal that once made mundane task not only tolerable but also exciting.

Perhaps I’m immature in my thinking, impatient or both, and maybe I have yet to fully understand the process of being an “adult,” and quiet possibly that just might come with time but at the moment, I’m not at the place or position I want to be in my life so until then I’m going to try to resist the stronghold that conformity has over the masses.

P.S I don’t think I have a problem with growing up, it’s losing that carefree nature that makes our eyes glisten that scares me. If we don’t have that spark , what sets us apart from everyone else?

Aloha Hawaii

We stayed in Wakiki right next to the beach.

Some places to visit, if you ever get to go:
1. Wakiki Beach
2. Kailua Beach Park
3. Manoa Falls
4. Diamond Head- Inactive Volcano
5. North Shore
6. Hanauma Bay

Just bits and pieces from our Hawaii vacation.