Disappearance of Integrity

This week I was reading a number of articles over facebook’s negligence regarding private information of it’s members. Despite security settings, information has been gathered from its member’s and made easily accessible to outside parties. Of course, this is not a new occurrence; facebook has had to deal with various privacy lawsuits from individual members to privacy investigations from countries.

As much as I’ve enjoyed its services since I created an account in 2004, the constant news regarding privacy issues has me questioning whether facebook is worth maintaining anymore. Information that we disclosure on our page is for those within our network, not for outside industries to target us as consumers. Regardless of whether personal information can be accessed elsewhere, facebook, as a company should have the integrity to respect its member’s, not violate their trust. Enabling outside sources to access member’s information makes it harder for me to maintain respect for a company that I once respected for keeping me connected with the friends that I've made over the years.

Maybe I was naive to trust a company like facebook; I guess my assumption that integrity and ethics still existed was completely off.

Young Sages

I have my moments where I feel as though I’ve learned everything that I’m capable of learning. At times, it seems like all the knowledge that I currently need is at hand. While I have recently been operating off of this perspective, I see the detrimental consequences in allowing this mentality to guide your daily activities. Quite frankly, you prevent yourself from progressing as a human being, essentially, closing doors and blinding yourself of opportunities that lay before you.

My recent yet foolish approach to life had never been more apparent then the two weekends that I spent with my niece and nephew this month. At two and five years old, I’ve was taken by their boundless curiosity that makes them smile, makes their eyes widen and intrigues them to ask the questions of why something is the way it is? They’re taking their initial steps of becoming cognizant of the world through their first experiences and discovery of their talents; while above all else, enjoying every moment of the journey. At the end of the day, any restrictions and limits hold no weight against their will to discover the treasures hidden amongst them. Each and every day, they stand to gain everything and much like them, closing the door to open mindedness and curiosity too early leaves a vacancy where knowledge and experience could be.

What was also really striking was my nephew’s ability to live life not having the great deal of expectations that we’ve learned through social conventions. I think a lot of our unhappiness stems from, at times, many unattainable expectations that we have for ourselves or the expectations we’ve learned from social expectations of “normality.” I’ve always been an advocate of going against what other people expect or want from you but sometimes you get so wrapped up and temporarily swept away. It’s refreshing to see how carefree and uninhibited by social cues we can be, sometimes we need a little reminder.

To these young sages, they are completely satisfied with unconditional love and being able to explore words, ideas or objects that trigger their synapses and spark questions. All the material things that a lot of us consume to bring us happiness or higher social status means absolutely nothing--you can see it in their eyes. I’m glad to be able to relearn life’s most basic treasures through the eyes of these kids as they learn everything for their first time.

The sun sets on us

Spinning Wheel

I’ve been waking up feeling like each day will be the day that the world will take notice that I have no idea what I’m doing, I don’t want to pretend that I have the answers because I don’t. Maybe it’s just a phase and the feeling that I’m a spinning wheel will fade, I just can’t help but think, “When?” After all who can take constantly being confused and overwhelmed with matters that have little to no significance in the betterment of you as a person? “Not I,” says this Mauricio.

I understand that going through difficult situations especially overcoming adverse conditions help to build resilience and open doors but honestly where do we draw the line?

I guess what it comes down to is that I see life as a game, futbol, tennis or baseball—whatever sport you prefer. You start the game; you enter the arena feeling like the ultimate badass, confidence radiating from your skin, everyone can sense it. Your fans i.e. your family and friends are cheering you on with unconditional support; your in your element, or at least so you thought. The game starts and your doing great, making runs, scoring points—your bloated ego is feeding off of the excitement from everyone on the sidelines and bleachers. But then you stop doing well, balls start flying everywhere, you can’t keep up, your being outrun and then balls hit you in the testicles, then another, not fun, right? My question, how long can we continue playing our game where we are simply spinning wheels going no where?

Lines

We have lines that define the limits in many aspects of our life; these concrete or imaginary points are situated relative to predetermined points of reference that become most apparent when someone crosses them. This line, although imaginary, is very real in our psyche—those who choose to cross them, whether intentional or accidental, run the risk of destroying a bridge, regardless of it’s strength. After all, we see these lines, these boundaries as sacred. Having been developed overtime and refined through personal experience, the weight these lines carry are colossal and the consequences of overstepping, tragic. It’s important to have your boundaries and your limits, without them you’re vulnerable to others. On the same token, knowing which lines to maintain is just as vital, you wouldn’t want to waste time arbitrarily drawing lines to keep others out and inadvertently fencing yourself in.

Anticipation

Two weeks ago today I got a call from my manager asking me to prepare for a lead role in a film opposite Pierce Brosnan. I thought what a great opportunity to start something new.

Through the weekend I learned my lines and mentally prepared myself for all possibilities. The day of my audition, I thought nerves would have the better of me and to some extent they did. Nevertheless, I went into the audition and after reading with the casting director I was asked to return for a callback. Excited and running on a rush of adrenaline, I found that maybe, just maybe the universe and stars would align in my favor.

Late Friday afternoon I received the script and read it that evening. Immediately afterwards I decided that I have to get this role. Monday swung it’s head back around and I sat in my car waiting outside the audition sight. “Come September you can be starting a new direction in life!” At that instant, I realized that I was in trouble; I had become deeply invested in this role and I hadn’t even secured it. I left my car and walked to the audition site sitting in the couch waiting for them to see me.

“Mauricio, thanks for coming back!” The casting director said as he led me to the audition room. There sat the director along with Alex, whom I would be reading the scene with. I took a deep breath and began reciting the lines.

Five days later I sit wondering if I have the role or not. After 5pm today, if I don’t hear from my manager I’m making the assumption that the role has been offered to someone else and in that case, it’s time to redraft the plans that I had started fantasizing in my head.