Some of my past failures/mistakes stay with me longer than I care to hold on to. I’ve heard some people say that it builds character, while others say it serves as a reference point of misguided ambitions; whatever the reason for overstaying their welcome, they certainly leant a helping hand to the self-defeating mentality that plagued me the past two weeks. This sudden resurgence of past dissatisfaction coupled with recent decisions added to an overwhelming sense of anxiety, essentially sending me on the verge of leaving LA.
Lost connections and disillusioned by chasing pipe dreams subsequently inspired thoughts of new starts, I allowed these ideas to swirl about my head and I vaguely started planning where my little red car and me would head to next. Shelter at home while I clear my head or a new place to appease my more adventurous nature? As the days came and went, I continued to entertain ideas of my next destination to ease any combative discomforts.
I let myself sleep on it a few more nights, and after Thursday night's music session for Verbal Disclosure, I realized that regardless of any past disappointments, mistakes or missed opportunities, I'm still dreaming and any outlet involving music helps keep my dreaming nature alive. Maybe my manager, Kim and I can get something off the ground to keep me motivated and prevent any debilitating thought process from infiltrating my mind again. I have a few more months of LA left in me; hopefully something good can work out.
2 comments:
Good stuff! Maybe you and that other Verbal Disclosure guy "can get something off the ground" too! ;)
Thank you very much, I hope so too! :)
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